Getting Past Failures

If you ask me who is the one person I resonate with the most in the Bible, I would say Peter. The one thing I can relate with him most is his propensity to make mistakes, contradict himself and fall hard. His intentions are almost always good. But his follow-through takes a long time. Even in the Gospel of Mark, which had Peter as it's primary source does not suppress this fact. A gospel in which Jesus is almost exasperated by his disciples' inability to "get it" also describes Peter's great confession of Jesus and his audacity to rebuke Him when he didn't agree with what Jesus said. Who can forget his great denial of even knowing Christ out of fear for his own life. But what's interesting is how Mark records specifically how Jesus asks for Peter by name to meet him after the resurrection.

Thank God for a Saviour who does not define us by our failures.

There's one thing we all have in common, no matter who we are, it's that we've all made mistakes. We've messed up, prioritized the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, focused on the wrong thing, thought the wrong thing and the list goes on. None of us are beyond making mistakes which is why the old saying goes, "to err is human". What makes a person great is not whether or not they fail but what they do when they fail.

Failures are hard. It's especially hard not to internalize failure to the point of being defined by it. Once failure becomes part of our identity, then it becomes nearly impossible to get past it because it's a limit in our mind.

Here are three things you can do to get past your failures

Listen to the Voice of Hope

My wife tells me that no one believes in me more than I do. This is because there is a stubborn sort of optimism in me that keeps me coming back even when I've been beat down so many times. I have to confess that that optimism comes from the fact that Jesus rose again from the dead. That's where my hope keeps getting resurrected. If death is not the end, then what is? I love how Paul said, "Death! Where is your sting!" (1 Corinthians 15:55) In the face of the resurrection, anything that is spreading the death of sin in you - killing your self-image, your relationships, your mind, your work, your ministry, your relationship with God - All of it stands hopeless in the face of the resurrected Saviour. In Revelation Jesus tells John,

Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. (Revelation 1:18)

For me, this means that our Saviour always has the last word. And unless he gives up or stops believing, you and I shouldn't. If he keeps coming back, keeps getting up, keeps getting back to the fight - you should too.

We don't live by our faith. We live by faith in His faithfulness. That is to say because he is faithful, I refuse to give up, give in , quit or stay down.

The voice of hopelessness says - you can't, you'll never change, you've always been like this, you've failed too many times so quit, and on and on.

Great people learn how to tune out that voice and listen to a greater voice - the voice of hope. This voice says - you were meant for so much more than this, this failure does not have to define you, you can get past this, you can learn and move on.

Learn from Your Failures

We know this. Any failure is only as good as the lessons we learn from it. And the ones who fail make the greatest teachers. So if you've failed, allow me to welcome you to school where failure is a hard but good teacher. Have you failed? Here are some questions you can ask yourself

• What happened?

• What are some of the lessons that this is teaching me? What are the patterns I need to look out for to keep this from happening again?

• What are some things - relationships or work-wise - I need to set right?

• How do I feel about this failure?

• Knowing that Jesus died to buy my forgiveness, what does God say about me right now?

Forgive Yourself

This is sometimes one of the hardest things to do - extending grace to yourself. To say to yourself, I forgive you - for the pain, for the relationships affected, for the time or resources lost - I forgive you. Yes, it's important to have strong convictions, high standards for ourselves. Yes, it is important to continue to progress towards the goal for which God has called us. But in the midst of this, to keep us moving forward and not stuck in the past, it's important to forgive ourselves. The process of forgiving ourselves does involve grieving over what has been lost, making amends, and facing the consequences but also looking forward with hope. This is how Paul put it

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13,14)

So today, if you're in the middle of a failure, remember you are in good company, you are loved, this is not the end, and this is part of the process of making you what you are meant to be.