Failure can be a Good Teacher

He who makes no mistakes makes no progress.” –Teddy Roosevelt

The harsh reality of life is that you will make mistakes. That's true. It doesn't feel good, none of us want to but we will. Every student who steps in to college has aspirations to do their very best. No couple gets into marriage thinking I'm going to sabotage this one. No, on the contrary new couples seem to think believe (as did I) that they are immune to all the baggage that "other marriages" seem to have to deal with. Even as new parents, holding that baby in your hands, you want to be the best parent to that child and you certainly don't want to mess up.

But what's true of every one of those relationships and more is that you will make mistakes. You may fumble, stumble and even break at your inability to do even the simplest of things or change in the most basic of areas. If you were to sit with me, I would probably have more failures to talk about than successes. Because of the sheer number of times I have failed. How does it feel? Simply put - not good. So how do we move out from the weight of regret, shame, and unrelenting hopelessness that sometimes keeps us from moving on failure?

Four things to remember

Remember who you are:

You are more than the mistakes you made. The only reason you are struggling is because you are still in the fight. There's more you have to offer and this isn't the end. Who you are - is a forgiven, loved, cherished, a child of God, and like Paul says in Ephesians 2:8, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—9 not by works, so that no one can boast." This means that everything you are in Christ is not based on your performance but by the grace of God. And so it's so important to divorce your identity from the mistake you made and tell yourself, "I am in Christ, I am more than this."

I love how John Maxwell puts it, "The size of the person, not the size of his mistakes, determines success or failure"

You are bigger than your mess. And through the cross, God reveals to us his ability to come into our mess and rescue and redeem us from it.

What's your Why

If you've ever decided to do something, to make something of yourself, if you've decided to follow God, or to step out in faith towards something you believed God was calling you to, then you know that it is very risky. You are stepping out of the status quo, the mediocre and trying to be someone and do something that you are not used to yet. You've stepped out but it's new, it's crazy and it is terrifying as well. I'm reminded of how Abraham often called the "father of faith" stepped out and left his home, country and set out to a country he didn't know. And was that journey perfect? No! It was riddled with seasons of doubt, failure, questions, silence. It was tough. But his resilience came from his desire to know and follow this God who had revealed himself to him. What's your why? Why is this so important to you? Remind yourself of it.

Encourage yourself:

Sometimes in the morning, when anxiety fills your heart and you don't want to get out of bed - tell yourself why. soak in who you are. Take a few moments to reflect, breathe and speak to yourself. You need motivation, care. When there doesn't seem to be anyone to offer that you, speak to yourself. Sometimes when the weight of decisions overwhelm you or the weight of failures crushes you, speak to yourself. In kindness, forgive yourself. And speak to yourself who you are meant to be - As one in him the Spirit of God dwells. That you are meant for so much more than this.

Joyce Meyer put it this way and it always blesses me, "I may not be where I want to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be."

What's your next step?

When your goal is so big and feels overwhelming for you, take a moment to think about one thing you can do today to take you a little closer to the person you want to be and the goal you want to accomplish. Is it a call that needs to be made? Is it a meeting that needs to be fixed? Is it something you need to put into your schedule? Is it a conversation you need to have? What is one small thing you can do today to move you away from that failure to the person you are meant to be.

You are meant for greatness in life because we serve a great God and he loves to show off his greatness through the weak, vulnerable and nothings of this world. So if you've ever felt weak, vulnerable, or like nothing - you're in the right place for God to show off his greatness in you.